Hawaiian Trivia

Poi: A Hawaiian dish made of breadfruit or taro root, beaten to a thick paste and mixed with a few other ingredients that I can’t remember. It had a taste somewhat reminiscent of refried beans, slightly sweetened and flavored with dates. One of the guides said, “Actually, it’s wallpaper paste. We just like to tell tourists that it’s food, and then watch them try to eat it.” Another, more charitable description: “Eating poi by itself is kinda like eating straight mayo. It’s much better when you eat it with something else.” My dad’s pronouncement: “It’s revolting.”

The Sleeping Giant: A mountain formation on gorgeous, wild Kauai is said to have the profile of an immense Polynesian warrior lying on his back. Local mythology include several stories about the sleeping giant, one of which is that he was a mighty warrior who went to an especially good luau, ate far too much poi, fell asleep, and never got back up.

Humuhumunukunukuapua’a. Hawaii’s state fish. In English, we’d identify it as a species of Triggerfish. Hawaiians also called it the “sea pig” (because the profile of its head resembles that of a boar, though at least one person claimed that it was because the fish smelled like a pig, which I have a hard time believing, even as a gullible tourist), and it served as an acceptable substitute for land pigs in ceremonial sacrifices when regular pigs were scarce. Name’s fun to say. Take a shot and say it three times fast. Lather, Rinse, Repeat until you can’t take it anymore and snort your rum out the wrong pipe.